Family psychologist tells us how to behave at an early stage of the relationship, so that later they became only better. Learn more with talk to strangers blog.
"When we met, he was so kind and considerate ... Then they began to live together, and it seemed to become a different person." Isn’t it a familiar story? In order not to be next to a man who does not suit you, we’ve make some simple rules. When a relationship is only just beginning, each of us tends to look better than it actually is. Let's say you go on a first date with a man. Of course, you show him only the better qualities make judgments, which, as it seems to you, it will fall to taste. And he is likely to behave in the same way. What is the result? And you, young man, and illusions with respect to each other. Then you start to spend more time together, going to the movies, for a walk, ride a vacation. There is all the same: you continue to pretend to be humble, responsive, pretend that you adore cooking - you have to get married. All play in tolerance, kindness, loyalty: do not show aggression, some extreme views. This happens unconsciously - such behavior is dictated by the desire to please. If you want to rest for a while – try our chat rooms for adults.
So when you decide to live together, you still do not know who you are dealing.
But you will understand very soon: when you start to figure out who is going to cook, take out the garbage, pay for gas and light, make the bed, and walk with the dog. Man can not 24 hours a day to impersonate another. And here you can expect a nasty surprise. Your man may be disappointed in you, and you - in it. How many of these stories, when people get married for love, and then realize that did not fit together. And already the child was born, and then they try to hold out for some time, until the child grows up, suffer ... But this is not life.
Many women are advised how to behave: to take even glossy magazines.
There are friends, Mom. Even future in-law told the future daughters-that their son loves that he be like that some shirts ironed, cooked here are some dishes and helped choose the shoes. It is believed that the atmosphere in the house meets a woman, so it should smooth out the rough edges, to resolve conflicts and create comfortable conditions for the man.
Is it correct? Of course it isn’t.
Let's start with the fact that you are in love because of several factors, no one will because if you indulge in the whole man, you do not show yourself as a person. A man with a nice of you, as if he were sitting on the couch, but he did not really understand what the man next to him. And it definitely will not be with you reckon. But even those women who want to marry a rich, hope that her husband will respect them. But why?
You ask me: and how to behave with a man?
So, how do you behave in nature, in a natural setting? Imagine that you are dealing with someone you trust, who does not need to impress. If you do not like something, you talk about it. At a minimum, a man sees that the man next to him, not just his legs and chest. Communicate honestly, show yourself for what you are, do not try to manipulate. After all, when you have to adjust to the other in pursuit of some goal - this is called manipulation.
And what if you are, for example, a malicious and stubborn?
Do not play the lamb. First, it is unfair advertising - when a man finds out that you are not white and fluffy, it is up to you still go away. Second, many men like bitchiness women, because they were the mothers. Believe me, whatever you are, you will find someone who is right for you.