First dating is a big deal. Especially for introverts. How to overcome shyness, and not to fail the first meeting? Proven ways divided by blogger Norman Arvidson, who is, of course, an introvert. Learn more with our videochat online blog.
Every time I come to the meeting place, I have freezes in the chest. But 10 minutes before the appointed time I am ready to cancel the date. And there comes a time when I did not know what to think, and saying the first few words, I pause in sheer panic. Yes, I'm an introvert. Unfortunately for us, introverts, there are no options – we have to date. Answer the same questions many times to different people about who you are, what you love and what you do, going from a cozy house into a big and noisy world. Keep on a short distance of the one you see first. But look. You want to find love? Then you have to go through it. In another way, it does not happen. Over the years I have developed a few tricks to help calmly accept the fact that I have to talk to complete strangers. You're in luck - I'm ready to share them.
1. A LITTLE MORE COFFEE, LITTLE LESS ALCOHOL
I know - the temptation to add to a little courage with the help of spirits is very high, but here's the thing. If you're like me, and you cannot always find the words even with alcohol – just order some coffee.
2. Short and Mysterious
Leave room for imagination. Give new friend desire to know about you more. The real purpose of a first date is to arouse curiosity. Both of you at this time asking yourself the same question: "I wonder if I spend more time with this person. Do I want to learn more? "And if the answer is yes, you can think about what will happen next in your schedule. You do not need to suddenly interrupt the meeting, as did Cinderella. But I know the feature is a live conversation in my performance does not last more than 90 minutes. We introvert all the similar. Because I'm trying to finish a date at the height of its activity (which means about 2-3 hours).
3. Embark on those places that you know so well
After many attempts to invent a new and original ways to explore or find unexpected places, I realized that for an introvert is not the best way to remedy the situation. I need soil and roots. Try it and I promise, it will help. In addition, if your new friend will like the place, just like you, it would have to mean that you are with her in something on the same wavelength (maybe you are lucky and it is also an introvert!) So I always have a plan A, and I have him still a contingency plan B. I choose the cute little cafe, which is not too crowded. And if there still is noisy - next to this cafe definitely has a park where you can escape and wander alone in silence. Avoid mass entertainment, if you get tired of them. Concerts? Save it for a second date, otherwise you will not be able to talk. A good choice for an introvert is hiking or biking trails, cultural events and museums. Anything where there is room, the ability to move and to discuss the experience.
4. YOU HAVE TO ASK QUESTIONS (SERIOUSLY - DO NOT FORGET TO ASK!)
This is usually visits. And even then, once you live together for 40 years and you will have grandchildren, you will still need to ask each other questions. ( "How was your day, honey?") If you meet on the Internet, write honestly. When asked, "How do you spend your Friday night?", Once there is a temptation to embellish reality and answer - "With friends in the company." But this is not about you! Answer like - "In the hall for yoga, and I like it." There will be those who will understand you.